tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5687963762821042585.post4924796485085436025..comments2024-03-05T22:13:31.981-08:00Comments on AM Station: RelationshipsAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17102112870911606839noreply@blogger.comBlogger20125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5687963762821042585.post-11367113132178994062015-05-07T00:51:33.571-07:002015-05-07T00:51:33.571-07:00I don't write YA, but I'm sitting here thi...I don't write YA, but I'm sitting here thinking about all the relationships I've written. And you know what, I rarely write about the beginning of romantic relationships. In real life, I was friends with my husband for about two years before we got together. And I have written a couple of stories using him as inspiration, so I guess it's there in the background.Annalisa Crawfordhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14943610814274794998noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5687963762821042585.post-52100829503061325072015-04-24T13:17:27.871-07:002015-04-24T13:17:27.871-07:00I had an issue with my main character and a love i...I had an issue with my main character and a love interest. They were too much like brother-sister. Maybe it's a guy thing, but it was hard for me to inject passion into their relationship without it reading super-cheesy. Luckily, I have great beta readers I could bounce ideas off of. Jay Noelhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04757777693161610861noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5687963762821042585.post-82800031343973701962015-04-22T09:46:41.040-07:002015-04-22T09:46:41.040-07:00That's a great way to put it! Thanks, Grace!That's a great way to put it! Thanks, Grace!Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17102112870911606839noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5687963762821042585.post-2495362406095603192015-04-22T08:03:53.665-07:002015-04-22T08:03:53.665-07:00This is one of my BIGGEST pet peeves about YA lit....This is one of my BIGGEST pet peeves about YA lit....so I completely agree with this post! <br /><br />When it came to planning out my novel series, my main character and her love interest don't get together until the fourth book (!), but I simply love their relationship as its a complex friendship with many layers that finally build into something else. Much truer to real life, I find. :)Grace K.https://www.blogger.com/profile/14706866815686104387noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5687963762821042585.post-3182312625105403122015-04-22T07:55:52.107-07:002015-04-22T07:55:52.107-07:00EXACTLY EXACTLY EXACTLY. Wow. So. True.EXACTLY EXACTLY EXACTLY. Wow. So. True.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17102112870911606839noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5687963762821042585.post-68187369793806486762015-04-22T07:55:24.756-07:002015-04-22T07:55:24.756-07:00Aww thanks girlie. So true.Aww thanks girlie. So true.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17102112870911606839noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5687963762821042585.post-51504844607494468132015-04-22T07:55:08.799-07:002015-04-22T07:55:08.799-07:00Truth! Thanks, Candice!Truth! Thanks, Candice!Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17102112870911606839noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5687963762821042585.post-27531889911741023752015-04-22T07:54:52.473-07:002015-04-22T07:54:52.473-07:00Thanks for commenting!Thanks for commenting!Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17102112870911606839noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5687963762821042585.post-49863227071916996542015-04-22T07:16:54.626-07:002015-04-22T07:16:54.626-07:00You know I have STRONG feelings about this, Annie,...You know I have STRONG feelings about this, Annie, so I apologize in advance if my comment turns into a rant. :)<br />Unfortunately most people put sex in YA books even if they wouldn't recommend it to their own children because they have a strong desire for the book to be "realistic to today's teens." (Of course, with society's climate, there are plenty of people who just don't care either way.) Naturally this will only make the situation more common, as teens who don't have strong guidance will see it as all the more normal and okay--and heck, these teens in books stay in love forever, right? <br />We are really lacking in YA romances that focus on what will really make a relationship work--and these also happen to be the things that make relationships full of passion and emotion and bliss: mutual respect, seeing the other as an equal, always wanting the good for the other, deep friendship, self-sacrifice... <br />I mean, come on: there's a reason we glorify Mr. Darcy and Gilbert Blythe. They gave their very selves to Elizabeth and Anne, not their bodies in a sexual way. Analyzing these relationships from a literary point of view, the very fact that they never had sex before marriage created excellent tension in the stories, just as that tension will exist in a wonderful way in any good, real-life relationship. Moral issues aside, developing real love in a book instead of focusing on physical passion simply makes for a better story, with higher stakes, real conflict and a more satisfying feel. Again, moral issues aside, allowing your characters to have sex (early in a story especially) is a lot like randomly killing off a character. Yes, it adds drama. But you'd better be able to justify what it costs your story.<br />Ultimately, I never had a "normal," "realistic" relationship. I had/have a fairy tale romance that some people might not believe if they only saw the bare bones of the "story outline." But in actual stories, we can use fiction to express great truths by delving into human nature...and one of the truths I hope I can express is that real love is possible and worth fighting for.Faith E. Houghhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03823750019164801104noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5687963762821042585.post-45241963552756572432015-04-22T06:47:18.730-07:002015-04-22T06:47:18.730-07:00Everything about this is perfect. If you can't...Everything about this is perfect. If you can't simply spend time with someone (just being their friend) without doing anything physical, then you don't actually like them-- you like their body.Annahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09708365492701281828noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5687963762821042585.post-57839819841692072252015-04-21T19:57:18.378-07:002015-04-21T19:57:18.378-07:00Totally agree! I hate it when books portray a shal...Totally agree! I hate it when books portray a shallow relationship as something that will lead to a healthy and lasting relationship. It doesn't usually work that way.Candicehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07828344166333450957noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5687963762821042585.post-58677497927714514852015-04-21T18:09:20.988-07:002015-04-21T18:09:20.988-07:00While I totally agree that the romance in the book...While I totally agree that the romance in the books isn't realistic, I also think that sometimes I want the fantasy of romance to happen, and it is nice to read about it. Just my thought/opinion though. Great post! If you have time, you should stop by and <a href="http://misclisa.blogspot.com/2015/04/a-to-z-april-r-reviews-rude-awakenings.html" rel="nofollow">check out my R Post</a>.Lisa Mandinahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02691593776280004137noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5687963762821042585.post-71039278800011484492015-04-21T11:46:05.857-07:002015-04-21T11:46:05.857-07:00EXACTLY. So very well put.EXACTLY. So very well put.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17102112870911606839noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5687963762821042585.post-11540790232540577252015-04-21T09:13:09.524-07:002015-04-21T09:13:09.524-07:00YES! I agree so much. In books and real life, frie...YES! I agree so much. In books and real life, friends first, relationship next. In a bang off relationship you have those weird expectation and you feel like you have to make a good impression, which may lead to a fake impression. Friendship don't have any of that awkward pressure. Plus if you're already friends, you know who you're giving you're heart to. Why would you give you're heart to a complete stranger??<br /><br />(You would be surprised how many people don't value the friends first concept in real life. People and their lack of realism these days.)<br /><br />The romance genre is driving me crazy lately. It seems the publishing companies seem to think that sex in YA is okay. Society talks about how teens shouldn't have sex, how it's "unsafe" (because you know, society doesn't like look at the moral issues it causes too), but then we tell it's okay by putting it in every YA book with a romantic relationship in it? Something's wrong here. a.n.g.https://www.blogger.com/profile/03667996517318905980noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5687963762821042585.post-3514408428830861362015-04-21T09:08:02.089-07:002015-04-21T09:08:02.089-07:00So true! Thanks for commenting.So true! Thanks for commenting.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17102112870911606839noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5687963762821042585.post-50510070955138026852015-04-21T09:07:16.935-07:002015-04-21T09:07:16.935-07:00Thanks, great to be back!! So true...thank you for...Thanks, great to be back!! So true...thank you for the comment.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17102112870911606839noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5687963762821042585.post-86893068608672485862015-04-21T09:06:57.058-07:002015-04-21T09:06:57.058-07:00Why have sex before you fall in love, before you&#...Why have sex before you fall in love, before you're married and you know it will last? Thanks for commenting!Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17102112870911606839noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5687963762821042585.post-23158771807920966292015-04-21T09:02:54.008-07:002015-04-21T09:02:54.008-07:00So that's why I have never liked YA romance! I...So that's why I have never liked YA romance! I could never put my finger on it, but you're right. I don't like it when puppy love is treated like adult love. Yes, there are people who fall in love at 16, marry, and make it last forever. But they're an anomaly. Why encourage teens to try to mimic adult relationships? Most often, it's heart break on the other side. Elizabeth Seckmanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00045076826326574984noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5687963762821042585.post-16732925634706410592015-04-21T08:38:40.333-07:002015-04-21T08:38:40.333-07:00Welcome back. I agree. You have a lot of missteps...Welcome back. I agree. You have a lot of missteps while dating and learn from each one. Sometimes you carry baggage that can sabotage the next relationship. There is a lot going on in any relationship, friendships included.Kathryn Thorntonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07755466843555856661noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5687963762821042585.post-89562575765917392872015-04-21T08:20:32.385-07:002015-04-21T08:20:32.385-07:00I don't write YA, but in Hurricane Crimes my c...I don't write YA, but in Hurricane Crimes my characters meet during extraordinary circumstances and they do BAM have sex and then fall in love...some would say quickly, but in the next story I explore their relationship more and let it grow in a way that I feel is realistic.<br /><br />I do know what you mean about YA books though. I haven't read to many YA stories that have realistic relationships. Chrys Feyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11955009490266358041noreply@blogger.com