For Those Who Can't Speak

I highly dislike rap. Even if it is Christian rap, I cannot stand it.

I don't even like the song that this blog post is about. At least, I didn't like it until I looked up the lyrics.

One thing that has been on my heart a lot are the victims of human trafficking. It's something that I pray for periodically, but after reading this article, my passion really flared up. So many people have no idea, or very little idea, how many people are sold into slavery, particularly sex slavery.

It makes me sick to my stomach. It makes me cry.

The "fix-it" person in me wants to go beat up the bad guys and rescue the weak. I feel so frustrated that people can treat other people as though they have no rights.

Every single person is beautiful. It doesn't matter what they have done, what stage they are at in life, what religion, or what race. Every single person is made in the image and likeness of God.

That goes for babies in the womb who have yet to be born. That goes for Brittany Maynard, who took her life this past November. That goes for the homeless. For the elderly. For the Christians, Jews, and others being murdered in the Middle East and other parts of the world. For those who are persecuting them. For those being sold into slavery. For those selling.

Life is beautiful. God created it. God alone should be the one to take it away.

And through all this pain and evil...He is present. He has not abandoned us. There are countless stories of hope and about conversion pertaining to human trafficking, abortion, euthanasia, and persecution. God is working in all this. He is present, and He's already won.

When I'm freaking out about all the terrible stuff going on, I cling to His truth. The truth that evil will always lose. It already has.

Anyway, so here's the song that inspired this post, "For Those Who Can't Speak", by Tenth Avenue North.

I want to use my voice for those who can't speak. I want to stand up for the vulnerable, the weak, in my day-to-day life. God, use me.

Pardon the rap. But let the message sink in.

Enough

I am a control freak.

I used to have a need to fix everything. And everyone. RIGHT NOW. I used to try to fix myself all the time and beat myself up for not being the perfect person I was "supposed to be", for "not being enough".

Then I realized that I cannot fix other people or myself. The only standard I should be comparing myself to is God's and, in Him, I am always enough. He is enough for me.

Those are dangerous words to say. Rephrase that: those are dangerous words to mean. 

He is enough for me. 

I say that I love Jesus and I'm super involved with church stuff, but when it comes to truly giving my life to Him...to letting Him consume me...to completely trusting Him with everything...

Yeah no thanks. Not interested. I have my plans, my ideas, and apparently I know way more about the world then God does.

After living like this for a while, I eventually came to the realization that my plans are stupid and don't work

http://speaknowtaylor.tumblr.com/post/35286599304

So then I had to face the scary truth that my world was out of control and there was nothing I could do about it. Honestly, it had been out of control for a while because I had no anchor. I had pretended for so long to be "God" basically, that I started to believe it. Then the love of Jesus overpowered me and set me on fire with a desire for Him. All I want is to be His.

Even though I'm continually growing in my faith and my relationship with Jesus, I have to tell him to take control of everything every day. I have so many fears that prevent me from trusting Him.

This is sort of how my thought process works. Brace yourself.

I am so not good enough. Everyone else is just better, more composed. No one else fails as miserably as I do. I'm never even going to get published. Can I even write? Am I supposed to even be doing this? Ugh and what the heck about college? How am I going to pay for it? Where am I going to go? What am I supposed to do with my life? And I'm so scared about what is going on in the world right now. I'm going to die, we're all going to die, and then I'm really never going to be published.

This is the perfect example of someone who is not anchored in God. I need to be reminded daily of who I am, of how beautiful I am in the love of Christ. I need to trust God that I am exactly where I'm supposed to be in life. As for what is going on in the world? All I can do is pray, pray, pray. God wants us to ask for things...He is always in control, despite how grim any situation may seem.

I think everybody struggles with this in some respect. We all try to figure things out on our own, and get upset when they don't work out. We need God's grace to hand over everything to Him. He's way better at being in control than I am.

To bring this full circle...to truly mean the words "He is enough for me", means to firmly believe that God is in control. It means to not question, but to pray without ceasing. It means to firmly believe that God's plan is more powerful than anything else.

It means that I stop trying to fix everyone, that I let go and let God. Because He's got this and He's the only person worth living for.