This Summer

While the majority of high school seniors have the luxury of finishing up senior year and graduation while looking to a long summer of tanning, pool parties, and goodbyes...I am preparing to leave home in less than a month.

This summer, I am serving at Catholic Youth Summer Camp as a member of the Program Mission Staff.

Last summer, I attended CYSC for the first time and it was beyond anything that I could have ever imagined. Despite loving my faith, I was hesitant to go. I'm not about that whole rugged-rough-and-tumble-shower-with-spiders life. I wear dresses every day of the summer and high heels to go grocery shopping. 

But I went with an open heart. And God worked some mighty wonders in my life.

The thing that struck me the most about CYSC was the community. The staff members were so genuine, so loving, so giving...they seriously poured themselves out for everyone around them. They were so uplifting and encouraging. 

I had never been a part of a community that was so on fire for Christ. Jesus used those young adults to just love on me and lead me closer to Him, to ignite a passion in my heart to live for Him.

Because of the great impact the incredible staff members had on my life, I wanted to give back and serve as they serve. I felt God tugging on my heart to go beyond my comfort zone (ahh! no heels!) and get my hands dirty, bringing His heart to middle and high schoolers.

I am beyond excited to be serving the young church in this way. I am so looking forward to just loving on kids, to sharing my heart and my testimony. I am pumped to be spending the summer introducing kids to a deeper relationship with Jesus, and to growing in my own relationship with my Beloved.

God has been reminding me all of this year that what He calls me to, He'll provide for. So I keep reminding myself of that, even as spiders and bugs freak the heck out of me. Even as I'm the least athletic person in the world. Even as I won't be getting the most sleep. Even as I'll be living with other flawed (yet beautiful) human beings.

I don't understand why God is calling me to be at CYSC this summer. But I want to be used for His glory. I want to bring souls to heaven. I want to comfort the heart of my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. I know that God has a plan and my deepest desire is to do His will. 

God is calling me out of my comfort zone. He is bringing me forth from my home and my family...and He has given me wings to fly. 

I would love to pray for you this summer. Please let me know how I specifically can do that!

Lastly, unfortunately, I will be unable to blog over the summer (end of May to the beginning of August). However, fear not, for I am planning on keeping a detailed prayer journal, so I will definitely be posting how God is glorified this summer upon my return. 

Praying for you always. And, seriously, hit me up with prayer requests!

CYSC is a high adventure summer camp for middle and high school students that seeks to foster a faith that is “deep, contagious, and joy-filled” and helps young people to live the adventure of their Catholic faith through an encounter with Jesus and his Church. If you would like to help financially support me in this mission, please prayerfully consider donating in one of two ways:

1. Visit www.cysc.com/missionsupport and make an online donation
2. Mail a check payable to “Catholic Youth Summer Camp” with my name in the memo line.

Mail to: Catholic Youth Summer Camp

7881 Bluefield Street

Canal Winchester, OH. 43110

Missionary Support For: Annie Schlueter

Farewell, Summer...Thou Hast Been Cruely Ripped From Me By The Evil School Year.

Welllll, that was a bit dramatic.

Yesterday was my last first day of high school, thus ending my last summer while I'm in high school.

I feel like I'm nearing a cliff, unable to see what's below. But my pace is becoming so rapid that I can't stop...and even if I could, the speed and the mystery and the excitement is exhilarating, despite the occasional explosion of butterflies caused by a bump in the road. I'm so close to this end, and yet so far...and when I reach it, what next? Will I fall, or will I fly? Will I want to go see what's below or take to the sky?

Anyway. Before I get carried away with thoughts of the end of this year, here's a bit about this past summer.

I grew in my relationship with Jesus. He continues to fill me with wonder and draw me into a beautiful, passionate relationship with Him. It's really hard to be a Christian today and not get discouraged by the world and despair, but choosing to live in His hope and His love is always worth it. I also grew in my relationship with His mom, Mary. I know that a lot of other Christians believe that Catholics worship Mary, but we don't. Jesus entrusted her to His apostle John (and in doing so, to us) and entrusted St. John (and us) to Mary when He was dying on the cross. Mary leads me closer to Jesus...kind of like how if I want my dad to do something, I'll ask my mom first so that she can help petition him. Anyway, this summer I consecrated myself to Mary. Basically, I went through a retreat sort of thing in order to entrust myself into her care. It was really awesome and definitely helped my spirituality.

I met amazing men of Christ. At summer camp, I was awed by the incredible guys I met that are so desperately in love with Jesus it brought tears to my eyes. They really strengthened my resolve to keep my expectations high and hold men accountable. Also, they helped me to trust God that He has someone for me who will lead me closer to Him.

I met amazing women of Christ. Also at summer camp...they inspired me to trust more in Jesus and abandon myself completely to Him. They inspired me to let only Him define me. They showed me that it's not a one time thing, but an every day process and decision that's difficult but so, so worth it.

I lost a friend over my beliefs. That hurt. Unfortunately, though, it's life. We are called to share our beliefs with love. Sometimes, even when we're loving, hate is the response that we get. I struggle at times to still be loving even after that...but God always provides the grace necessary to fulfill everything He asks of us.

I set aside my fear and confronted someone who needed to be confronted. This was really tough. Like up all night before and sick to my stomach tough. But again, God always provides the grace necessary to fulfill everything He asks of us, and I truly believed that He wanted me to do this...so even in my fear, I talked to someone who had really hurt me. It didn't solve everything and things didn't necessarily get better, but I walked away from the meeting with a new found peace and closure.

I realized that a lot of people are fake. As negative as that may sound, I feel like it's a reality that everyone has to experience and discover in life. I also realized that I can't be the only person in a relationship to be making effort.

I unexpectedly gained a new best friend. A family friend came and lived with us this summer to do some interning for our nonprofit...despite living down the street from me when I lived in PA, Anna and I were never really close. However, this summer, we shared so much...from shopping and ice-cream and making dinner together, to deep late night talks featuring lots of laughing and tears. It was seriously incredible, I'm so blessed by her and miss her so much!

I spent lots of time with my cousin. If you've been following my blog for any amount of time, you know that I'm super close with my cousin, Alex. We spent every day together in the summer when I lived in PA, so living four hours away from her is really difficult. Anyway, I was so blessed to be able to spend collectively about three weeks with her. We did a lot of fun stuff: put putting, shopping, swimming, typical girly summer stuff that was 100x better because it was with her.

I did a lot for Mass Impact, the ministry my family runs. I worked the table at our local Christian music festival and got to talk to a lot of amazing people. We also had a pretty big festival that we put a loooooot of work into. That took up most of the summer...but it was cool to serve so many families and help them grow closer to each other and to Jesus!

I'm feeling increasingly validated to do NET. I've talked about NET before, but for new readers-- NET (National Evangelization Team) is a ministry that trains and sends teams of young adults all over the country to do retreats for high school and middle school students. I'm in the process of applying for next year (2015-2016). I've definitely had some doubts as to whether this is what God really wants me to do...it's hard to give up a year of my life! Especially since I'm excited to go to college. This summer, though, God made it increasingly clear through other people's support and different events that that is where He wants me to be.

So there you have it, folks. It was an insane summer, and I'm looking forward to this school year God taught me so much this summer and blessed me in so many ways...cannot wait to see where He takes me this year.

How was your summer?

Back Again....

So here I am...back again. Pleased?

I have had an incredibly interesting summer. Not good or bad...but interesting, chalk full of good moments as well as bad ones, but neither overpowering the other so much as to give the entire summer a label of "best" or "worst". We're just going to have to settle with interesting.

If you've been a regular reader of AM Station, you know that I had major writing aspirations for the summer. I would like to take a moment to say that all of none of them were accomplished. As you know, I've neglected my blog (even going so far as to consider never blogging again...I know, the HORROR). I haven't worked on a single WIP and I certainly haven't even opened AWAKEN to continue edits. I haven't scribbled a single poem and have scarcely made time to journal.

So many reasons, so many excuses, so many thoughts...where do I even begin?

CYSC (the camp I attended in June) really threw a curve-ball at my life as far as my schedule was concerned. It was an amazing experience and I'm still pondering how it has impacted me. However, taking a whole week break from writing when I'd written nearly every day for this past year was really rough. And then coming home to spending two weeks with my cousins (another amazing thing of this summer) also messed with my goals for the summer.

Add to all that my job, getting ready for a huge festival my dad's nonprofit put on this past weekend, as well as typical summer, family, every day life sorts of things...even when I did have the time to write, it was hard to find the energy.

Shout out to all your writer mamas out there. I don't know how you do it.

Anyway...even deeper than that, however, was the nagging feeling that I'm going to have to take a whole year off of writing. At least, not in the way I've been used to. I'm going to be applying for NET Ministries for the school year of 2016-2017 and basically what NET (National Evangelization Team) is is teams of young adults who go around the country and give retreats to middle and high schoolers. I'm really excited and feel like this is where God is leading me...but nonetheless somewhat fearful of all that I'll have to let go of to fully dive into the year. I'm not exactly going to have the time and energy for the next great American novel, unfortunately.

Knowing that I'm going to have to take that break is really killing me. I'm just so confused as to why God has given me the talent of writing when He keeps asking me to give it up in different ways. But yet I know that He doesn't want me to stop writing...I just need to figure out what He wants me to do with my writing.

So, friends, here we are at the end of another long, reflective, perhaps too-deep blog post. I do want to apologize to all to whom I promised interviews and blog tours and such. Another reason why I slipped away from the blogging world is I definitely over-committed. Anyway, I've missed you all desperately and hope that you're all doing well. I'm trying to figure out a healthy balance between my blogging/blog visiting/writing WIPS/etc. as summer starts to end and I look to beginning my senior year. I really feel like I'm in great need of some writer support as I "get back in the game".

Also...I just realized that tomorrow officially marks three years since I created this blog. Wow. Insane how fast time flies. So much has happened!

Looking forward to hearing from you all about what you've been up to and hopefully "visiting" some of you soon! Thanks for reading, as always, and sticking with me.

IS THIS THING ON?!?!

I think I nearly forgot how to blog. It's funny, before the A-Z Challenge, me blogging two weeks apart would have been GOALS, but now it feels so WEIRD.

How dare I leave you for a week longer than I promised! Did you survive?! I do hope so.

Camp was amazing. So, so, so incredible. I met some of the most incredible people and really grew in my relationship with Jesus, which was awesome. But more on that later.

The amount of selfies that happened
was ridiculous.

The reason for my prolonged absence was because my cousins were in town. I kept telling myself that I was going to blog, but it was so hard to break away. I grew up with these cousins (we lived in the same town until I was fourteen) and we're all super close. Especially Alex and myself...she knows me better than anyone, and defines the term "best friend" for me. Anyway, so we were super busy this past week and gone doing crazy things (pool, museum, put-put, the works). But more on that later.

Us being weird. So basically us
being us.

Unfortunately, the insanity is not about to die down. I'm taking an impromptu trip to visit Alex and family (GOING BACK TO MY HOMETOWN YAY!!) with my youngest brother tomorrow. But I have some things lined up for next week, so hopefully I'll still be able to at least blog, if not visit other blogs. But more on that later.

Speaking of which, I've missed reading everyone's blogs so much!! I can't wait to see what y'all have been up to.

Also...I decided to do Camp Nano! Life is already insane enough, might as well add some crazy. I'll be working TBN (which I talked about in my summer goals post). I'm still going to be doing my best to blog two to three times a week though, don't you worry.

LASTLY...a huge round of thanks goes to Rachel Pattinson for nominating me for the Infinity Blog Award! She's a doll, guys, seriously.

I'm supposed to give eleven facts about myself, so here we go. Brace yourselves.

1. I had a make-believe best friend named Katelyn.
2. I had a make-believe villain named Michael Alvin who lived on my top bunk until I moved to the top bunk and then he moved to my closet. He could make himself super tiny during the day and then at night he would come to his full size. He was friends with all of the Disney villains and his sole purpose in life was to marry me. 
3. I used to force my brothers to go on "Michael Alvin" hunts during the day and sometimes I would try to rub the skin off of their faces to see if they were actually Michael Alvin wearing a mask.
4. I had a crush on Ty Pennington (from ABC's Extreme Makeover: Home Addition) for like...five years. Or so. (OH MY GOSH, I found out that his name is actually Gary a few weeks ago...like WHAT EVEN my childhood is ruined.)
5. I've been to a different school for each year of high school so far. Thankfully, I'm staying homeschooled for my senior year.
6. I was the Artful Dodger in the musical Oliver my sophomore year.
7. My neighbors, cousins, siblings, and I put on Annie the musical in my backyard about seven summers ago. I was Annie (of course, because I always had to be the center of attention). It was terrible. We have a video of it, and let's just say, y'all should be glad that my sass has gotten somewhat under control since then.
8. The first year I did NaNoWriMo, my brother Joseph made an account and pretended to be a guy my age and we messaged for a long time before I discovered that it was actually Joseph. I was so, so, so mad. SO MAD.
9. I HATE Skittles. With a passion.
10. I'm discerning doing a year of missionary work before college. (Prayers appreciated!)
11. I dress up literally every day. The worst part of camp was that I could not bring my maxi skirts or my wedges. Not about that athletic shorts life.

Now for Rachel's questions:

1. If you could be any superhero, who would it be and why?

Black Widow! Because she's kick butt but still feminine and able to depend on others as well as still care about them a lot.
2. If you had to choose between permanently too hot or too cold, which one would you choose?

Too hot! I love love love heat and am still recovering from winter. Actually, I am not really sure that there is such a thing as too hot.
3. What's your ultimate writing dream?

Oh man...honestly, I don't have one. I mean, I have goals, but they're just kind of...there. I'm trying to figure out how God wants me to use my writing in life. Right now, I'm just writing for Him and me, and it's going really well. I guess I would have to say that I'd love to be published. Or have an agent represent me. One of the two would be pretty sweet, but I'm also content where I'm at right now. 

Now...for the eleven bloggers that I'm nominating! 

1. Ashley
2. Jessica Wolf
3. Opal
4. Nicole S.
5. Jack
6. Abigail Post
7. Candice Williams
8. Rcubed
9. Katie Grace
10. Emily Ann Putzke
11. Jo

(No pressure to do this, guys, seriously...but just want you to know how much I love you and how awesome your blogs are!)

My questions:

1. Would you rather be a butterfly or a bumble bee?
2. Post a paragraph or a stanza of your latest writing project. (I guess that wasn't really a question...will you please post a paragraph or stanza?)
3. What are your blogging goals for the rest of the year?

Okay, now I'm off to go read up on all of your blogs. It's good to be back.

Summer Goals and ANNOUNCEMENT.

So I finally sat down today and drafted up my goals for this summer. Actually, I had already put them on paper a few weeks ago, but the paper decided to go MIA (paper has a mind of its own, doncha know). This is take two.

1. AWAKEN-- my MS that I finished months ago. I'm still in love with it, which is a good sign, but it seriously needs some work that I've been putting off. It's like a room in my brain that I'm not ready to demolish but needs such a cleaning that it's exhausting to even open the door.

2/3. WILD-- probably not the actual name, so I should probably shoot for finding a name for that one, too. Anyway, I'm about fourteen chapters into the draft and have no idea what happens next, so I should probably get to outlining...

4. TBN-- is totally outlined. I love this story so much and I'm about six-ish chapters into it. It's kind of a companion to AWAKEN (which is the first in a trilogy--TBN will stand alone), so that's fun.

5. 1950s Concept-- I love the '50s so much. Thinking of doing a mystery/thriller kind of thing involving that time period along with deserted places (probably aquariums). I have a Pinterest Board for it (sort of), but I can't wait to discover the story further.

6. READ-- "What?! Anne Marie, you said these were Summer 2015 Writing Goals." Someone once said that a true writer is always writing. For me, that's so true, and the time that I'm most writing (besides when I'm actually writing) is when I'm reading. I really want to get into lots of classics this summer as well as some (non-raunchy) adult lit and nonfiction (think memoirs) as well as, as stated, writing books. Right now, I'm reading (writing related) Characters and Viewpoint by Orson Scott Card and Now Write! Screenwriting edited by Sherry Ellis and Laurie Lamson. If you have any suggestions (for any of those categories, but especially writing), I'm all ears! ...erm, or rather, eyes...

7. Blog-- so this really isn't anything new, I already try to blog three times a week.

BUT WAIT. 

THERE ACTUALLY IS SOMETHING NEW. 

WHAT THE HECK IS CLAMORING TO BE VISIBLE!?

Well. Let me tell you a story. 

Once upon a time there was a magical writing goddess named Jenny who also happens to be incredibly humorous. Said goddess stumbled (do goddesses stumble?) upon my blog during the A-Z Challenge. Her blog is definitely one of my favorite stops on the internet, literally every time I visit I smile. ANYWAY. She has another blog, where she posts stories (I'll post the link when it's up and running again, right now she's taking a break) and I think that that is such a good idea.

I've tried out Figment and Wattpad, but it's all "oh you read mine and I'll read yours", which I really don't like. I feel like a lot of "writers" who use those sites don't particularly care about anything besides views. Also, a lot of it is just boy band fanfics (REALLY!? I hate fanfics so much, I'm sorry--but that's another post for another time) and porn, neither of which are my thing. 

Personally, I wouldn't care if nobody ever read or commented on my blog...I write for me, y'all are just a bonus. But a really awesome bonus. 

Anyway, one of my journals is completely dedicated to stories. Just random, free written stories. I decided, because of Jenny the Goddess, that maybe I should share some of said stories.

SO! Here it is. Blog number two, which will hopefully soon be filled with lots of stories, fictional and nonfictional and exaggerated and non-exaggerated (but you're going to have to guess which is which, because I'll never tell!).

Head on over to Clamoring To Be Visible and see Story No. 1: THE PROMISE OF COFFEE.

Love you guys.

I FOUND AN OPAL!

Well, actually, I found the Opal. Here she is, in interview format.

AMS: What are your writing goals for this summer?
OS: In New Zealand, we are heading into winter at the moment. It's the busiest time of the school year, so I am lucky if I get a few hours of writing time in any week. When summer comes around again, I'd like to finish my WIP- but summers a while off yet.

I often feel like there is some big conspiracy that life is behind to prohibit writers from writing by producing enough business to make our heads spin.

AMS: What is your favorite character that you've written?
OS: It's hard to say who my all time favorite would be. At the moment I'm fond of a character in my WIP, who seems to be made of bits and pieces from people I know.

Oooh, sounds like a fun one to write! Nearly all of my characters are inspired by aspects of people I know. (Watch out...just joking! ...maybe)
AMS: Favorite author and why?
OS: Ally Carter is always at the top of my list, I love her books. I also like Jodi Picoult, because I love her writing style.

I haven't read either of them! But I do see their names and books all over the place, I'll have to check 'em out.

AMS: Favorite childhood toy?
OS: I played with dolls all through my childhood, so probably the doll I got for my birthday one year. I called her Anna and was played happily together for years.

YAY FOR DOLLS! Why isn't it acceptable for grown-ups to play with dolls?! Maybe that's the reason why we have daughters...

AMS: Best piece of writing advice?
OS: I can never remember how it goes exactly, but I'll give it a go. "Remember when your writing your first draft, you are shoveling the sand into a pile so you can form a sand castle." Or something along those lines.

I've never heard that one before! I really like it, writing it down right now.

AMS: Are there any particular songs that inspire your writing? Which ones?
OS: I listen to a huge range of music, so it's hard to say which songs inspire my writing. It's almost never classical though. I listened to Crash by Jamie Mcdell and Cool Kids by Echosmith on repeat when I first started my current WIP.

Love love love Echosmith.

AMS: Do you share your writing (besides blogging)? If so, with whom?
OS: I used to share some of my writing with a friend at school, but I stopped doing it a while ago. I also have two critique partners. I find that sharing writing I haven't edited myself doesn't generally help. If I have polished a piece, then I am prepared for others to put their thoughts into it. I guess it's important for me to be happy with it before I consider changing anything, even if it a slow way to go about it.

That's interesting! I usually save my writing until the end (by end, when I finish the first draft) to share, but there are a few people I share with as I go along. It keeps me motivated to finish! And it's cool to know that other people are excited about my writing too.

AMS: What are you looking forward to most this summer?
OS: When summer comes back around to New Zealand, sometime in December, I look forward to traveling, seeing my best friend, loud music and dip dying my hair. I don't like summer because of the heat, but over the last few years I've come to cherish the few months of no school when I can put unnatural colors in my hair, sleep in and learn what I choose.

AMEN TO THAT! Love sleep.

AMS: Latest book you've read?
OS: I just finished The Raven Boys, after months and months of letting it drop down my TBR list. I am still confused about what happened, but I came away quite pleased.

I haven't read Raven Boys yet, but I have read other Maggie Stiefvater books and I think she's amazing.

AMS: How often do you write?
OS: I haven't had the time to work on my WIP for a few months now, which is pretty miserable. During the holidays, I might spend the whole day writing, so at the moment I'm just looking ahead to that. Ideally I would get a few hours every week.

Good luck finding the time!

AMS: Favorite ice-cream flavor?
OS: Cookies and Cream! Whoever thought of putting chocolate cookie in ice cream was genius.

PREACH! So utterly, inexplicably beautiful.

Opal can most often be found hidden behind a book or computer. She dreams of one day ruling the world with her cat, Hunter. If she can't rule the world, she hopes to at least change it for the better in some way. Opal blogs at Opal Swirls, where she talks about life, writing, books and whatever else floats through her mind.

Tune back in THIS MONDAY, for my summer goals and a SPECIAL announcement. On the special-o-meter, it's probably like a four or five, so not too big. But kinda cool. Anyway, come back! Because I love you and you're the bestest, most fabulousest readers in the universe. Have an AMAZING weekend!!