Where are you, God?

Where are you, God?

I have been feeling so heavy lately.

I look at the world. How horrific is this world. I look at the world, and I shake with fear. Killings, persecution, hate, abuse...it's all so, so prevalent.  And it seems to be getting worse. I see leaders not being leaders. People missing opportunity after opportunity to lead souls closer to Jesus.

I look at my own life. Situations worsening, friends making terrible decisions, people I love enduring so much hurt.

Where are you, God?

I have caught myself clinging to despair so often of late. As I look around, I see that I am surrounded by people in bad relationships, divorce, drugs, abuse. Even worse than that, I see so many family, friends, and people in general unaware of who they are in Christ. People who just keep filling their lives with things and people and just growing emptier and emptier. People who do not know that they need Jesus Christ.

And I've been there...before I realized how much I needed Jesus, my life was a mess. But the thing is, I hid it pretty well (for a while). I wore a mask, acting okay, like I had it all together. However, on the inside...complete chaos. I ran from Jesus.

I look into the eyes of those living without the awareness of the need for Him and I see myself. I see emptiness, loneliness, and pain.

Where are you, God?

Sometimes, I blame myself. If I would have done more...I should have...why didn't I...

It's like I had control at one point, and now I blew it, it's all my fault. I've let God and everyone down and now no one is going to be saved.

When nothing I do (prayers or actions) seems to be making a difference, I want to crawl up in a ball and hide until kingdom come. Nothing I do matters anyway. I can't change anyone.

Despair. It's dark. Cold. Frightening.

And it is a LIE.

At the beginning of high school, a priest told me to "hope always". This came in response to me expressing despair over the fact that really nobody in my life really seemed to be taking Jesus seriously.

And that's the cure. The light that will extinguish the darkness of the lie.

Hope always.

Where are you, God?

God has been teaching me this...so gently and lovingly, but also with firmness and power:

Never believe that where something is lacking, He is not supplying. Not only is He supplying, but He is pouring out in super abundance, so that all involved might be satisfied. Are you feeling tired, heavy? He wants to share your burden. He wants His grace to overflow through you and He will use you to make His glory known to all.

Just think-- God plans to use you and whatever you are going through to bring forth His glory.

Things may seem out of control. It's so hard when we see people we love making bad choices...we feel helpless and weak. And we blame ourselves.

Like I said before, there are times when I feel like I've let God down. But guess what?

IT IS ABSOLUTELY IMPOSSIBLE FOR YOU TO EVER, EVER LET GOD DOWN.

You know why? Because you are not the one holding Him up. He does not depend on you. You are His child, He is your parent. Thankfully, the world doesn't begin and end with us. We are not the world's means of salvation.

So, if you are beating yourself up over past mistakes, please don't. Give them to God. He wants to take them and He can make them beautiful and He will make you new.

As I look around, my heart is so broken as I see depression and fear prevailing in people's lives...but I know that it is not the end. Jesus is alive, He conquered DEATH! Friends, let that truth sink in. If God beat death, what else is there left to beat? What do we have to fear?

Lastly, it is so beautiful to be moved by the sufferings of others. It means that God is giving us the smallest taste of what He feels all the time...a longing for His children to be whole, to be one with Him. Praise God for allowing us to be close to Him by sharing His heart.

Hope always. Our God is not a distant one. He is working within your heart, within the lives of all you know. He is here, right now. He longs to fill your life with peace.

We don't have to have it all figured out. Surrender more deeply to God each day...it's a life long ride. Trust wholeheartedly that God desires to heal what has been broken.

God is always working. He is using you. You matter, your prayers have power. The Power of the Resurrection lives in you!! I encourage you to think about God's faithfulness...look at your life and see all of the gifts, all of the answered prayers, all of His workings.

"It was not you who chose me, but I who chose you and appointed you to go and bear fruit that will remain, so that whatever you ask the Father in my name He may give you." -John 15:16

Hope always.

I'm praying for you.

To Youth Ministers

I have been around various forms of youth ministry throughout the course of my seventeen-and-a-half years of life.

Being the daughter of two youth ministers, I spent my childhood immensely looking forward to being part of a youth ministry program. I saw the joy of people passionately pursuing Jesus and leading others to Him. Even as young as three, that was so attractive to me. I assumed that I would be a part of a youth ministry program as wonderful as the one my parents lead when I reached high school.

Unfortunately, my experience with youth ministry over the years has been frustrating and the source of much heartache. I've been let down by multiple Cristian adults...and it hurts. I'm not going to lie, I'm angry about it. Even though some of these situations happened years ago, I'm angry. I've forgiven those involved...but I still recognize that the things that happened were wrong.

So please, all of you who work with kids in the Church, learn from these mistakes of others.

My absolute favorite line that I've gotten from youth ministers (and I've gotten it from at least four) is the ol' "Well, you're way ahead of them all."  This statement has been said in response to suggestions given by myself or others. Usually, this line is in response to requests for greater depth in something or an expression of frustration at the lack of leadership.

When I've received that line, I've felt put in a box. It's like I'm different from everyone else, and almost ostracized. Growing deeper is up to me and the youth minister is not going to help me. Also, I think it puts the "them" in a box which prohibits their own growth. To me, that line is a cop out from putting more work into something.

Every single person alive longs for greater depth spiritually, regardless of whether or not they realize it. Our hearts were made for relationship with Jesus. Obviously, the leadership which leads to the relationship can take many different forms. So don't tell me that I'm the only one who wants that.

Please realize that you are never going to please everybody, so stop trying. You're not going to please every priest, every kid, every parent, every member of the church. So just strive to please one-- Jesus. Don't compromise Church teachings just because you don't want to offend somebody. Take a stand. Stand up for Jesus. And also, please do not give your opinions if  they are contrary to Church teaching. The church has been around for two-thousand years. She knows more than you.

It's not about you and your ministry. It's about leading people to relationship with Jesus. That's all that matters. I don't understand why, under this premise, so many youth ministers are unable to work together. Why do so many schedule their events on the same night, seemingly intentionally? I get really frustrated when I (and others) get crap about going to a different church's events. Youth groups are not sports teams competing for coolness or attendance. There was a youth minister I knew once who wouldn't even talk to a girl after she skipped a week of our church's youth group to go to another church. Well, that's mature!

Please do not mimic your kids when they offer suggestions or voice concerns. Often, it takes a lot of courage for a kid to speak up to an adult. Regardless of whether or not you agree with what is being suggested, please be respectful and listen.

Don't talk about kids to other kids. Youth ministry is a hard balance between relating to the kids while still maintaining a leadership persona. But please, please, please set an example and don't gossip. As one who has been gossiped to and gossiped about by a variety of youth ministers, it's not cool. If you're frustrated, talk to another youth minister or confront the kid yourself. If you're gossiping as the youth minister, how are you supposed to teach your kids not to gossip? Also, it puts the kid being gossiped to in a very uncomfortable position. And if you're being gossiped about...it's heartbreaking.

How much do you know about the personal lives of your kids? I'm talking beyond sports and clubs How much do you know about their wants and dreams, their fears, their hurts? Are your kids comfortable sharing with you? Another hard balance of youth ministry is that of having a fun side as well as a deep side. Are your kids able to get real with you?

It's not about numbers...for the sake of numbers. But each number represents a soul. Your responsibility is to lead these souls to heaven. Do you realize how much power you have?! You have so many souls literally in your hands, and you have the truth that they long for! Are you doing everything in your power to reach as many as you possibly can?

Please be prepared for your events. Please don't fill youth events with a bunch of games because you think we can't handle depth. We crave depth because we our culture has starved us of it. Additionally, for goodness's sakes, write you talk ahead of time.

If you're going to enlist others to be on a leadership team (especially other teens), please train them. Meet with them, talk and pray with them, build relationship. Don't just throw them to the wolves.

If you're not going to pray openly with your team and kids, then you're not going to go anywhere. If you're not pursuing a relationship with Jesus to the best of your ability, then you're not going to be anything but noise.

Be real. Be fun. Be deep. Don't be afraid to give yourself wholly and completely, like Jesus does continuously for us. Youth ministry is so much more than a job...it's a way of life.

I have been let down often in my life and this is partly my fault. But the worst, most heartbreaking let downs have come from youth ministers. When leaders don't lead, especially in the church, I get so upset. Wen I am told how I am "too far ahead of everybody", it hurts. I want to be fed, to be led closer to Jesus. I have problems just like everyone else. When I see youth ministers wo are so obsessed with "success" that they miss the souls in front of them, it hurts.

The most important thing you could ever do is love and lead a soul to Christ.

I'm praying for you! I know that youth ministry (and every kind of ministry) is difficult. But what God has called you to, He'll provide the grace sufficient for. Remember, more than anything, the sacrifice that Jesus has made for you and the love that He pours out continually on you. Cling to that, and let Him be your strength.

To all the kids who have been hurt by youth ministers...youth ministers are just people. People are human, and we fail. I know kids who have left the Church because of being let down by the leadership. Always remember, our Church is founded on Christ. He is our hope. Our Church is run by humans, which means we will fail. But the Church never will.

I'm praying for you.

Porn in a Pub: You're Worth Over a Million Dollars

I am a very emotional person.

I feel things very deeply, probably over the top most times. Things swirl around inside me for much longer than they probably should. Which is probably why I'm up at 12:43am on this November 3rd. I was lying in lying in bed for at least an hour, wide awake, sick to my stomach because of what had happened this past evening.

So this past evening, family friends invited us out to eat with them. The name of the restaurant is McGuire's Pub, and it's apparently a pretty big deal.

Before we walked into the pub, I noticed dollar bills, signed with various names and phrases, taped to the insides of the windows. When we walked into the pub, I completely lost my breath. Dollar bills, everywhere. Literally hanging from the ceiling, covering every inch so that all you could see were the vertically hanging bills. The restaurant was huge, and the bills went on and on and on.

I didn't know what to think or what to say. I was so overwhelmed by the loud voices of the pub's patrons and the steady rambling of the waiters and waitresses, the musky scent, and the dim lighting. My head spun, my stomach sunk, and my legs automatically moved forward with the rest of my family, with my eyes unable to remove themselves from the vast sea of money.

Our waiter lead us to a little secluded area, a tiny circular room encompassing a circular table. The walls were lined with vintage pictures, mostly beer advertisements and such. In addition to these though, there was a drawn picture of a woman, mostly naked and showing her breasts, obviously meant to be seductive. Pornography.

The fact that people look at pictures of naked men and women for pleasure absolutely sickens me. So many people think that it's not a big deal, that it's only a picture, and maybe I'm making too big a deal out of this.

But the thing is, pornography reduces people down to things. I strongly believe that pornography is the biggest perpetrator of rape culture. Porn says it's okay to use without any responsibility or commitment or lasting effects. Porn reduces people to toys to be played with. Porn gives permission to use people. We were made for love, not to be lusted after and used. Lust says that I'm going to take you for what you can do for me...but love says that I am going to lay my life down for your good. Porn promotes lust and destroys love.

Like I said, porn sickens me. But the people involved...the photographers, the models, and the people who buy...you do not. You are worthy of love. My heart goes out to you if you're addicted to porn, whether it's something you're okay with or struggling with. You are made for more. I am praying for you, that you would come to see the truth of who you are and given the strength to give up living for something so much less than you deserve.

When I saw the picture in the pub, my spirit just felt so heavy and...yuck, honestly. Everything inside me felt out of order and chaotic. I felt like I had just forgotten something really important or that I was in the wrong place. I felt lost. The money-ceiling felt like it was getting closer and closer, and was about to crush me.

My dad asked the waiter if  we could remove the picture or cover it up or anything. The waiter said that we could move to the room over, so we did.

And then my mom came back and told us about the bathrooms.

Apparently, the door to the men's bathroom read "LADIES" in large print, followed by a small printed "do not use this bathroom". The ladies' bathroom said "MEN", followed by "do not use this bathroom". Again, disgust. How could that be okay? It's not funny. While we were there, a number of people accidentally went in the wrong bathroom.

Men and women, we are more than just bodies...we are bodies and souls. But our bodies are sacred and holy, a dwelling place for the Holy Spirit. Our bodies are not meant to be used as a joke or as an embarrassment. However, our bodies were designed to give glory to God. As brothers and sisters in Christ, we are called to aid each other in recognizing our true, infinite worth.

How does tricking men into going into the ladies' bathroom promote an culture of respect for each other as persons, body and soul, worthy of love and respect?

Our waiter repeated the spiel about the bathrooms and added what he called an interesting tidbit. Apparently, all of the dollar bills all over the place added up to one and a half million and there was a certain spot in the pub where you could see the entire ceiling and all you'd see was millions of dollar bills. He called it cool.

This time, I couldn't control my tears.

One and a half million dollars used as DECORATION for a restaurant.

One and a half million. Decoration.

Decoration.

How many people die each day from starvation? How many people don't have a place to sleep? How many people can't receive the medical attention they need? All of this...due to lack of money.

Meanwhile, at McGuire's, you'll one and a half million dollars used as decoration and amusement.

Honestly, I don't care if it was one or two or ten or twenty dollars. The fact that it is any being completely wasted when there are so many underprivileged people...completely and utterly disgusting.

Apparently, someone told my brother that they do donate some money to some charity or another. That's great. Still not an excuse to waste one and a half million dollars.

Sometimes, I wish that I just didn't care. That I could see a picture like the one I saw and just look away. That I didn't have the kind of dad who had to make a big deal and ask if the picture could be removed. That I could laugh about the bathroom joke and just be careful. That I could "oooh and awww" at the money as I was clearly expected to do, perhaps even signing a dollar myself. That I wasn't up at now almost two in the morning and could peacefully sleep as though nothing happened.

But I am  not called to the comfort of conformity. I am called to greatness. And the reality is, by the grace of God, I care more about people than I do about my social status.

I care that men and women are being used for their bodies, that pornography is destroying marriages and relationships. I care that the porn industry is growing rapidly, and that money is being made off of the sacred bodies of men and women made in the image and likeness of the God of the universe. I care that a pornographic picture was put in a pub. I care that pornographic pictures exist, period. I care that my little brothers and sisters saw it.

I care that so many people don't have food. That so many are without moms and dads, that so many live without love. I care that so many die in the streets each day, due to various diseases. I care that so much money is wasted rather than given to help these people. I care that selfishness exists in this world, just as much as undernourishment or any kind of disease.

My experience at McGuire's challenged me. It challenged me to look at the ways that I use people. Do I see men as just an attractive thing without a personality? How much money do I spend needlessly, how much time do I waste? These are really hard questions that are so good to keep in mind.

The men and women in pornographic pictures are worth far, far, far more than one and a half million dollars. Guys, you all are worth so much more than that much money. We all are priceless. When we use people, whether physically, visually, or emotionally, it's sort of like hanging one and a half million dollars from a dirty old ceiling, not letting it live up to its full potential. It's telling a person that s/he is something that s/he is not, that s/he is worthless.

Let's stop wasting something that is worth so much more than any amount of money...someone. Each other. Let's stop using each other for our own pleasure, and instead...let's love. Let's sacrificially do what is better for each other, let's lay our lives down. It's hard not to use people, especially when you're in the habit! I know, believe me, I've been there. It's a daily struggle not to fall into the temptation of use. But living lives of love, rather than use, is always worth it. The very fact that it is so hard validates how worth it it is.

Let's make commitments not to use. Let's love. And let's pray for each other.



For more information on how pornography destroys, visit these awesome websites:

• Evicting the Enemy in the Gates (Porn in the Church)
• The Chastity Project: Pornography
• Fight the New Drug

Slugs

When I was little, I used to love to jump in the leaves.

I absolutely loved raking them, too. It made jumping in them even sweeter, when I had poured effort into creating the perfect pile, with the perfect dimensions. It had to be just wide enough and tall enough for maximum jumping crunch.

I remember feeling the wood of the rake's handle in my sweaty hands. I gripped it tightly, and pulled against the leaves hard. I ran it through the grass as fast as I could, visions of twenty-foot high piles of leaves climbing high up to the sky, just waiting to be jumped in. I would always get raw, red marks on my hands, but I hardly noticed. It was a small price to pay for the glory of leaping into a magical pile of leaves.

But one fall brought with it the day when I discovered a slug. This slug was lurking within the folds of a crispy leaf, just inches from my head. I jumped up from my leafy bed and ran inside, shivering with disgust.

Suddenly, the slugs were all I saw in the leaves. The raking ceased. The jumping ceased. My fear of nasty slugs overpowered the wonder that I held for jumping into the leaves. The slugs stole my wonder.

We come into this world with so much wonder. We marvel at everything, from touches to tastes to sights and everything in between. We long to believe, we long to love.

But then the slugs come.

Personally, I love to love. I love to be excited and to dive into something whole heartedly, whether it be a project or a relationship. I don't do things by halves, perhaps to a fault. I'm completely trusting...or completely afraid. I have so much love to give and I want to give it to EVERYBODY RIGHT NOW.

Until the slugs come.

The leaves were once a place where I loved to lay and look up at the pale blue fall sky. I loved feeling the brisk air on my face, chilly but not uncomfortable. The indescribable fall aroma was something that relaxed me and brought me happiness.

But then the slugs came.

People who used and abused, who filled themselves and then took off. And, silly me, I just kept right on filling. The world became less wonderful, and I became tired. Because I was never full. Life stopped being beautiful. The thought of trusting, of being vulnerable, of loving-- made me feel sick.

I had so much excitement for life. And I willingly gave it up to the slugs. I stayed inside and just watched the wind tickle the branches of trees that dropped leaves. But those leaves, all I saw in them were the slugs.

I'm sure you seasoned bloggers think you have this post figured out. Another cliche "See the Good!" post, encouraging to look past the slugs and see the leaves. Encouraging to GO LIVE YOUR LIFE, DESPITE THE SLUGS! You're partially right. Which means you're partially wrong.

I don't think we should look past the slugs. We need to see the slugs.  See the bad. The bad is there, and the bad hurts. It hurts so, so, so horribly, and has terrible consequences. It persuades us to stop loving and trusting, and thus hurting ourselves even more.

We need to see the slugs.

About a year ago, I was talking to a formerly-close friend of mine about someone who was really hurting me. This person had said a lot of really nasty things to me. Deep down, I believed that the things he said were lies...but part of me also questioned whether are not they were true. I shared all this with my friend, and he replied: "The hurt is real. The lies are not."

That really struck me and has continued to stay with me. I thought that we just ignored the hurt, writing it off as irrelevant and as though it didn't actually matter very much. But no...it's okay to feel hurt.

The slugs are there. The slugs are real.

They're the people who hurt us. But place a couple of slugs in a huge backyard, filled with a thousand enormous trees shedding vibrant leaves. Look out into that backyard and know that the slugs are there. But we can't stay focused on a little blob of slime when there is so much beauty in front of us. How silly would it be to be so afraid of the slugs that we don't go jump in the leaves?

The slugs are real. But what is not real is the imagined threat that the slugs are to us. The lies that they the slugs tell us...that we're not good enough...that is not real! YOU ARE GOOD ENOUGH. I am sick and tired of this world proclaiming that we're not good enough.

The God of the universe CREATED you in His IMAGE AND LIKENESS and the world has the audacity to plant the idea in you're head that you're not good enough?! No, my friend. Not at all. The truth is, the world is not good enough for you. That is real, and that is the truth. You are beautiful. You are treasured. You are sacred. You are His.

God defeated the slugs. When God is for us and loving us unconditionally (despite our rather sluggish tenancies at times), what do we have to fear? The God who defeated death is in control of our lives. So trust Him. Easier said than done, right? It takes work. But it is always, ALWAYS worth it.

Let us not lose our wonder. Let us continually see all of the beauty of the world, of life. More specifically, let us continue to marvel at the beauty of our individual lives. You are alive, right now, for a purpose and a reason. How incredible is that? Let us not allow past hurt to rob us of the marvel and wonder that God created us to have.

Don't draw back when the slugs come. Let God brush off the slugs, and let it go. And keep jumping in the leaves.

I'm praying for you.

Pre-NaNo Update

I am excited for NaNoWriMo. 

I'm sort of dreading it, I'm really overwhelmed by it, and it's definitely scaring me. But with all of that, I'm incredibly excited. 

October has been a veeeeeeeery slow writing month for me, which has been frustrating. Last month was extremely productive, and I suppose I just assumed that the productivity would carry over into this month. Unfortunately, that was not the case. I don't know that I've even written five chapters of my WIP this month. My goal of finishing before NaNo is utterly impossible at this point, but that's okay.

I've been learning lately that it's good to set goals. That it's important to work your butt off to achieve those goals. But perhaps it is necessary also to be okay when we do not reach those goals. It's okay to let our goals morph into other goals when they become unrealistic. And the most important of all is not to beat ourselves up over it, because that will get us nowhere. I'm finding that we can let the disappointment of not reaching a goal fuel the excitement of meeting the next goal. 

Additionally, I've been praying a lot that God would help me be productive. It's taken me seventeen and a half years to realize that I can't do it on my own. 

Seventeen and a half. I'll be seventeen and a half, officially, on October 24. How odd is that. On October 25, I'll be closer to my eighteenth birthday than to my seventeenth birthday. I'm not sure how I feel about that. Speaking of growing up things, many of you know that I applied to NET ministries. Last week, I got a phone call telling me that I'm invited to come to an interview weekend! It's a good thing I wasn't able to answer the phone and had to listen to the message, because my reaction may have got me uninvited....blubbering and screaming and the like. That will be in February, so please keep me in your prayers! 

Also, this is weird, but my brother Dominic and I have become obsessed with this local classical radio station. Right now, they're having a fundraiser thing, and we literally have it on all the time. The deejays have the most relaxing, almost hypnotic voices. They play the strangest array of music, not just classical...there is some electronic and...I honestly don't even know the other genres. A lot of it is really different and I've never even heard it before. I listen to classical music occasionally and greatly appreciate it, but don't typically chose to listen to it on my own, so I have no idea why I love it. I'm honestly so confused by why I'm so addicted to it.

That was probably the most irrelevant paragraph I've ever written (which is saying something), but I really felt that need to confess all that so y'all better just suck it up, buttercup. Irrelevancy is my thing. That is such a fun word. Say it. Irrelevancy. 

Back to NaNo. My outlines are ready, my pencils are sharp, and I've found a stellar pen. Not that the writing utensils matter so much, as I type out my books. But it's comforting to know, if I should need them, they're right near by. I rounded up a couple of writer friends to participate in a NaNo support group, and I'm really really really pumped about the ladies I'll be working with. I'll keep y'all posted on how the group goes.  

What have you guys been up to? How are my Wrimos feeling pre-November? 

Reach Out

Once upon a time I wrote a blog post on the amazing book This Is Not A Writing Manuel by Kerri Majors. If you haven't read it, you seriously need to. It's more directed towards teens/young adults, but I really think that a stockpile of information can be gleaned from Kerri's brilliance regardless of age.

Anyway, Kerri strongly suggests becoming a part of a writer's community. When I read that, I decided that I wanted a community to share my writing with. So I emailed some friends from all over the place (geographically) and asked if they would be interested in started a group where we would share and critique writing on a weekly basis.

The group went okay for a while, albeit not exactly what I had in mind. Most of the people who had joined had never really been in a writing group before that wasn't a class. It died off by the end of the year.

Earlier this year, I revisited TINAWM and decided that I really, really, really needed a writing group that actually, physically met. So, I googled writing groups in my area.

To my surprise, there actually was one that met at a cafe every Tuesday. But as far as I could tell, it was an adult group and I wasn't sure if teens were welcomed. So I sent the head lady an email, asking if she knew about any teen writing groups in the area.

And, badabingbadaboom, the next thing I knew, she had emailed be back saying no, she did not, but their people were interested in starting one! Then, some days later, another one of the writers emailed me inviting me to the group to discuss particulars.

Though no particulars were discussed, the group was an insane amount of fun. The members (for the most part) were all easily ten to thirty years older than me, but it was so cool. I didn't bring any work to be critiqued, but I learned so much by listening to them critique each other and reading their work.

Just being around other writers makes my soul so happy.

I'm actually going with them to a writer's conference at a university near my house next month. I AM SO. SO. SO. SOOOO EXCITED. I had business cards printed already and I keep staring at them.

Having writing friends does so much for your writing, especially if you can physically meet with them face to face. Even if you can't though, find yourself a critique partner! I don't think any writer should be without a critique partner. This is someone who you can vent to about your characters and bounce ideas off of. They can critique parts (or all of) whatever you're working on. And you can do the same for them, learning a lot about writing in the process!

It also helps in building a tough skin that is required for publishing. Having a person who genuinely cares about you and your writing makes it easy (or, at least, easier) to be critiqued, if you're not used to it.

The other awesome (probably the most awesome) thing about having a critique partner is that they'll a lot of times turn out to be one of your closest friends. (*waves* Hi, Jess!)

So! The moral of the post is DON'T BE AFRAID TO REACH OUT! If I had found the writing group but never emailed, then there would be no potential teen group, I couldn't have joined the adult group, and I never would have even heard of the writer's conference. Don't be afraid of how people will receive you...the worst thing that can happen is that they won't reply to your email, and how bad is that, really?

In addition to all that, same goes for blogging. I love the blogging community so much! My writing has grown exponentially thanks to y'all, I'm forever indebted. I love the friendships that have resulted in my activeness in the blogging world. Don't be afraid to comment, or even to send an email to a blogger! We don't bite, I promise.

Actually, that's so not true, I hate when people say that. I just realized that I hate when people say that, and now I'm all fired up. Of COURSE we bite. How do you think we eat?! By BITING. Unless you're a baby, then you don't bite. Well, actually, you do, you bite people, even if you don't bite food.

So moral number two: BLOGGERS BITE.

Have a fabulous remainder of the week everyone.

What My WIP Is Teaching Me

I am so excited about my WIP, which is a fantastical thing.

The fact that I'm excited, not the WIP. Necessarily.

It's a full blown high fantasy, full of magic and mystery and milk. Milk? Yes, milk. Actually, no, there's no milk, but "milk" starts with "m" and I was looking for another m word so I just stuck with that. What even is this paragraph?

This WIP presents a lot of firsts for me. I've been learning so, so much while writing and these characters have been stretching me in ways I didn't think was possible. I've realized that a lot of my characters are copies of each other as well. And it's not just me--I've come to realize this is how it is in most books. Even in books where we're lucky enough to come across a unique MC, the supporting characters all fall back into either black or white. Or vice versa. Unfortunately, people are neither black or white; our personalities are millions of shades of gray. There is so much originality in our world!

I've been working really hard on communicating that originality. I've been focusing a lot on the speech and reactions of certain characters. Also, I've been working hard on withholding information. In the movie The Lady in the Water (really bizarre movie, never watch it), there's a character who is a film reviewer or something like that. After coming home from a movie premier, he says that the movie was terrible because everyone walked around and said what they thought.

That really struck me. I'm an extrovert, and I definitely say what I think a lot...but I probably don't communicate fifty percent of my thoughts. Characters are really two-dimensional (if not even one-dimensional) when there is no distance between mind and mouth.

My MC is definitely more introverted than extroverted. That's been weird to write, because usually I write extroverted MCs. However, writing an introverted MC has taught me a lot. One, I can't rely completely on dialogue to tell the story. Dialogue is one of my biggest strengths, but a lot of times, I let it overpower my descriptions of the setting, body language, etc.

My dialogue has improved even more, though. I also had the realization that all of my characters talk similarly. Again, not realistic!

There is a large cast of characters in this WIP, and I was worried about making them all the same. Additionally, I was concerned that they would all just get lost and my readers wouldn't be able to tell the difference between them or remember them.

I've fixed this by the different things that they say. For example, I have one character who says everything twice. I have another one who never speaks besides when spoken to, another who asks a million questions, and other one who just talks constantly to fill the silence. Of course, these are general, but I've fleshed them out more in the story (as you'll hopefully see some day!) I've found that it's important to figure out how the character expresses himself verbally in the stages of pre-writing character development.

So! My mind is full of different characters, plot points, and great motivation for writing. Unfortunately, life has been absolutely crazy, so I haven't had as much time to write as I would like. However, I'm inching closer to completion...one word at a time.

What has your writing been teaching you lately?


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