Farewell, Summer...Thou Hast Been Cruely Ripped From Me By The Evil School Year.

Welllll, that was a bit dramatic.

Yesterday was my last first day of high school, thus ending my last summer while I'm in high school.

I feel like I'm nearing a cliff, unable to see what's below. But my pace is becoming so rapid that I can't stop...and even if I could, the speed and the mystery and the excitement is exhilarating, despite the occasional explosion of butterflies caused by a bump in the road. I'm so close to this end, and yet so far...and when I reach it, what next? Will I fall, or will I fly? Will I want to go see what's below or take to the sky?

Anyway. Before I get carried away with thoughts of the end of this year, here's a bit about this past summer.

I grew in my relationship with Jesus. He continues to fill me with wonder and draw me into a beautiful, passionate relationship with Him. It's really hard to be a Christian today and not get discouraged by the world and despair, but choosing to live in His hope and His love is always worth it. I also grew in my relationship with His mom, Mary. I know that a lot of other Christians believe that Catholics worship Mary, but we don't. Jesus entrusted her to His apostle John (and in doing so, to us) and entrusted St. John (and us) to Mary when He was dying on the cross. Mary leads me closer to Jesus...kind of like how if I want my dad to do something, I'll ask my mom first so that she can help petition him. Anyway, this summer I consecrated myself to Mary. Basically, I went through a retreat sort of thing in order to entrust myself into her care. It was really awesome and definitely helped my spirituality.

I met amazing men of Christ. At summer camp, I was awed by the incredible guys I met that are so desperately in love with Jesus it brought tears to my eyes. They really strengthened my resolve to keep my expectations high and hold men accountable. Also, they helped me to trust God that He has someone for me who will lead me closer to Him.

I met amazing women of Christ. Also at summer camp...they inspired me to trust more in Jesus and abandon myself completely to Him. They inspired me to let only Him define me. They showed me that it's not a one time thing, but an every day process and decision that's difficult but so, so worth it.

I lost a friend over my beliefs. That hurt. Unfortunately, though, it's life. We are called to share our beliefs with love. Sometimes, even when we're loving, hate is the response that we get. I struggle at times to still be loving even after that...but God always provides the grace necessary to fulfill everything He asks of us.

I set aside my fear and confronted someone who needed to be confronted. This was really tough. Like up all night before and sick to my stomach tough. But again, God always provides the grace necessary to fulfill everything He asks of us, and I truly believed that He wanted me to do this...so even in my fear, I talked to someone who had really hurt me. It didn't solve everything and things didn't necessarily get better, but I walked away from the meeting with a new found peace and closure.

I realized that a lot of people are fake. As negative as that may sound, I feel like it's a reality that everyone has to experience and discover in life. I also realized that I can't be the only person in a relationship to be making effort.

I unexpectedly gained a new best friend. A family friend came and lived with us this summer to do some interning for our nonprofit...despite living down the street from me when I lived in PA, Anna and I were never really close. However, this summer, we shared so much...from shopping and ice-cream and making dinner together, to deep late night talks featuring lots of laughing and tears. It was seriously incredible, I'm so blessed by her and miss her so much!

I spent lots of time with my cousin. If you've been following my blog for any amount of time, you know that I'm super close with my cousin, Alex. We spent every day together in the summer when I lived in PA, so living four hours away from her is really difficult. Anyway, I was so blessed to be able to spend collectively about three weeks with her. We did a lot of fun stuff: put putting, shopping, swimming, typical girly summer stuff that was 100x better because it was with her.

I did a lot for Mass Impact, the ministry my family runs. I worked the table at our local Christian music festival and got to talk to a lot of amazing people. We also had a pretty big festival that we put a loooooot of work into. That took up most of the summer...but it was cool to serve so many families and help them grow closer to each other and to Jesus!

I'm feeling increasingly validated to do NET. I've talked about NET before, but for new readers-- NET (National Evangelization Team) is a ministry that trains and sends teams of young adults all over the country to do retreats for high school and middle school students. I'm in the process of applying for next year (2015-2016). I've definitely had some doubts as to whether this is what God really wants me to do...it's hard to give up a year of my life! Especially since I'm excited to go to college. This summer, though, God made it increasingly clear through other people's support and different events that that is where He wants me to be.

So there you have it, folks. It was an insane summer, and I'm looking forward to this school year God taught me so much this summer and blessed me in so many ways...cannot wait to see where He takes me this year.

How was your summer?

An old friend and a new blog!

#modelstatus

About a month (or less) after I moved two years ago, I attended a Steubenville Youth Conference with my new parish.

I remember walking with this girl named Anna and two or three other girls and having a lively conversation about the Harry Potter series. About two minutes into the conversation, I discovered that Anna also had a great appreciation (if not infatuation) of the character of Severus Snape.

SAY NO MORE. LET'S BE FRIENDS.

We continued to gush over the incredible writing skills of J.K. Rowling and her character development. Soon, we were walking behind the rest of our "posse" and delving deep into the Theological themes of Harry Potter. This girl was seriously hard-core best friend material.

I was sure that it couldn't get any better than that. We both cared deeply about our faith and our personal relationships with Jesus Christ and loved Harry Potter. That's basically what I look for in my friends.

She loves me! Even though I'm weird!

BUT WAIT, THERE'S MORE.

After barely scratching the surface with this Harry Potter stuff, I found out that Anna also loved writing. LIKE WHAT HOW PERFECT CAN YOU BE!?

Two years later...I sit writing this post while texting this absolutely amazing young woman. She inspires me in so many ways. She has such a beautiful heart and loves deeply and really lives life to the fullest. She is one of the most understanding people ever and is just so much fun to be with!

Me trying not to laugh and looking constipated.
And no one will ever be as cool as Anna in this picture.

Our friendship is truly a gift. I absolutely love how we can both relate on writing stuff, because that is so important to both of us. My other friends try to be sympathetic when it comes to my writing issues (writer's block, having to kill characters, the works), but let's be honest: we writers often come off sounding quite insane. I'm so blessed to have someone who GETS IT. The nights spent writing, finishing a draft, getting positive feedback from a beta, everything. Anna has been so supportive of every single aspect of my writing journey and I love being a part of hers.

This girl is literally one of my favorite people ever. Check out her absolutely INCREDIBLE writing talent here at her brand new blog, WONDERFUL JOY. Make sure to leave some comment love!

ALSO, check back on April 1st for the first post of the A-Z Challenge! I'll be reflecting on the word "author" and what it means to me. Furthermore, stick around for Anna's guest blog here on AM Station on April 14th!

Me and my beautiful best friend <3

Famous: Writing From Pain

I am obsessed with the song Famous by Kelleigh Bannen for multiple reasons.

One, because it's country. Two, her voice is so edgy. Three, the song lyrics totally resonate with me.

"I'm gonna make you famous/tell 'em all about you/gonna all know what your name is..."

Heck yeah.

A lot of people say that they deal with life by writing. For me, though, writing is synonymous with life. I don't think life needs to be "dealt with". Rather, writing is the fulfillment of life. I pour my life into writing and I pour writing into my life.

Basically, this is how it goes:

When I mess up. Good writing material.

When I'm hilarious. Good writing material.

When I hang with my besties. Good writing material.

When awkward moments happen. Good writing material.

When I say dumb stuff. Good writing material.

When I have to let go. Good writing material.

When I have to be confrontational about something important. Good writing material.

When my heart is broken. Good writing material.

"Good writing material" is basically my response to life in general. At the beginning of my freshman year, over two years ago, I emailed my cousin Faith (check out her extreme epicness here) about some things (by things I mean people) I was struggling with. Among lots of awesome advice, she told me that, if anything, at least I was gaining good writing material.

Upon reading this, I stood up and put my hand in the air, exclaiming, "PREACH SISTA!" In my mind, at least.

This concept was not new to me, but Faith's email reminded me that all the things that happened to me were mine. I could do whatever I wanted with them. I could let them fester, let them make me bitter, and drown in self-pity.

Or I could just acknowledge the hurt, give it to God, learn from it, and write it out.

From experience, the second option is much better, for everyone involved.

Some people are just too perfect (for better or for worse) to keep out of the pages of my book. My current MS is dripping with characters that are pulled together from people I've encountered. As writers, we're supposed to write about what we know, right? We're supposed to write realistically, believably...I've found that the best way to do that is pull from past experiences.

When I write, all the things I've always wanted to say just come out. I can fix mistakes. I can heal my heart. I can be new. Justice gets served to the people who've wronged me. When I write, I'm not different. I'm who I am supposed to be.

As for the song Famous, it has become my writing theme song. Especially when it comes to my villains-I-mean-people who've hurt me. Write it out, y'all.

http://see-you-n-tea.tumblr.com/image/45351777452

A Reason Why I Write: The Beauty Of A Friend

Ah, I should get the worst blogger of the year award for how much I neglect this baby. *Sigh* Honestly, I think about it so much and all the magnificent posts I have planned, but, alas, these ideas never seem to leave my head.

But this one idea has been pounding inside my brain, begging to be exhaled onto a piece of paper.

I have had an insane start to the year. I brought the New Year in with my bestest friend and cousin, toasting to turning fourteen (her) and turning sixteen (me) and being grown up and evil schemes and writing books and starting high school (her) and only having two years left (me) and all sorts of nonsense. Then we preceeded to stay up until-- er, let's just leave it at very late (or, um, early), as my mother reads this blog.

Additionally, I was fortunate to be able to stand for life in Washington, D.C. this January with some of my favorite people in the world from local youth groups. I was blest to go to a Matt Maher concert, who I have postively adored since I was, like, six. He led Eucharistic Adoration (as Catholics, we honor the Body, Blood, Soul, and Divinity of Jesus Christ present during this sacrament) one night and it was seriously one of the most beautiful things I've ever expirienced.

Another absolutely amazing event that took place was my aunt's wedding on February 1st. . .that was incredible. It was an added bonus that I was able to go home to Erie for the wedding! And that I got to hang out with my crazy cousin =)

Oh, and I've had close to fifteen snow days. Which has been incredible because I've accomplished a ton in regaurds to my WIP. But it's absolutely unheard of, from where I've come from. Even one snow day is absolutely unacceptable, though there is easily enough snow in Erie, Pennsylvannia to warrant it, thank you very much.

Fortunately (or unfortunately), though 2014 has been crazy so far, I have had plenty of time to think. And about fifty-percent of the time, when I'm thinking, I'm thinking about Erie. I'm thinking about things I've said and done, about people I've loved and people I've hated-- ahem, disliked. I've thought about things I've written and what made me write them. I've also been thinking about the reasons why I write, as I've been finding it harder and harder to just Sit Down And Write.

And then, through my rememberings and thinkings, BAM, it hit me. Figuratively, of course.

Let me tell you a story.

Once upon a time (ahem, like sevenish years ago), there was a young, impressonable, aspiring writer. . .who still is that way. Anyhow, so I was friends with this other girl who I shared much in common with. Same beliefs, same school (or homeschool program, rather), same grade, and similar interests. Yes, she was a writer too. And our parents were basically best friends, so that's always helpful when two girls are knieveing to hang out.

We didn't see each other as much as we wanted to (maybe once, twice, three times a month), due to a variety of reasons, but everytime we hung out it was like the best day of my life. Not neccessarily when other girls were involved-- you know those friends that are just better one on one? That was us. But when we did hang out, just us, my entire body hurt from smiling and laughing my head off.

And of course, the best part of our friendship was the writing aspect. I can still see her in my mind, sitting on the queen-size bed in our old guest room as I explained to her the latest developement in my plot. I remember laying on her bedroom floor, pouring over her latest draft. She was the Best Writer Ever to me and I was always secretly jealous of how well she could string words together. And her plots were fantastic. After I read parts of her story, I would be in a daze for many hours to come.

My absolute favorite memory with her, though, is the day that I told her I liked to write. Maybe it wasn't that day that I told her, actually, but it was the first day that she had read anything I had every written. She was so impressed (probably much more then the piece deserved) and INSISTED that I read it to her family.

The second best part of going to her house (the first being her, of course) was her family. I don't remember ever being that included and welcomed and loved in a family that I wasn't even related to. I remember sitting at her kitchen table, just talking to her parents.

Anyway, so after dinner, her whole family gathered in their living room (there were at least four kids, at this point-- they now have six, just like us), and I read my story. Not the whole thing (the whole thing never actually ended up being written), it was just a chapter or two. But I finished and they clapped and hugged me and told me what a good writer I was and clapped and hugged some more.

If I live to publish a million books and am on every TV and radio talk show in the world, those events will never come close to that moment, in her dimly lit living room, with her family squished together on the couch, listening intently as I read about Beth Kingston, a 12-year-old who gets transported back to Camelot.

Unfortunately, life has come between me and my first real writing friend. We went to the same high school and ended up in different social circles and didn't talk very much. Life has a way of twisting people and friendships so that they are completely unrecognizable from when we first met, from when we first began. But I greatly regret letting such a valuable friendship slip away so easily.

So, this is a reason why I write. She is.

She was the first person (outside of my family) to tell me I could write. To be interested in where my story was going. To tell me to never give up, to never stop writing. She made me feel special, like I had so much potential. She encouraged me to push on, even on hard days. She told me not to let life get in the way of writing.

My eyes are full of tears as I type this. Some people are just so beautiful, you know? Those little moments spent with some people are what make a life a life, what make it all worthwhile. So I suppose this post is begging to be ended with one of the most common of sentiments: remember the little moments. Don't be lost in the past, but don't be so fixated on the future that you forget to look in the rear-veiw mirror once in a while.

And, though we often find ourselves moving on and being moved on from, let us remember the wise words of L.M. Montgomery, delievered from Anne Shirley: "True friends will always remain together in spirit."