Saturday, April 13, 2013

Life: Lessons and Ramblings


What comes to mind when you hear this word? Or in this instance, read it?  What does the word "life" mean to you?

Right now, I'd say life as meaning a crazy-wonderful-unexpected-heartbreaking-courage-building-making-me-fearless adventure. 

I'm a stubborn person. In one of my earliest posts, I wrote about a lesson one of the characters I wrote about taught me. A lesson I refused to learn for a time. I'm that way with a lot of things in life, I guess. For example, I constantly think that I know what will happen next. I think that I know what is going on. I think I am in control. 

Well, guess what I constantly have to remind myself? 

Number One: life is unexpected and one usually doesn't know what will happen next. Example? Many of you (if not all of you) know that I am moving to Toledo, Ohio. Well, our house closing was on Friday, April 5th and we didn't have a house to move into. (That's a long story in itself-- we thought we had a house, but it fell through upon the inspection.) So, we are now living with my wonderful grandparents about two hours away from Toledo, where my dad is working.

Number Two: more is usually going on with life than meets the eye. Many of you also may know that I've had a really rough year school-wise. This has been the first year since second grade that I have attended a "brick-and-mortar" school (I was homeschooled for third grade through eighth grade). So, that was a pretty big change in itself; I was learning in a whole new way, dealing with homework, teachers, and kids my age on a daily basis. 

Needless to say, it was hard. It was difficult. It was heartbreaking and left me feeling so worn. At times, I felt  lonely and it took all my strength to get out of bed each morning and plaster a smile on my face. It was so hard to just keep going through the motions, pretending that I was ok with everything, when I totally wasn't. And then add the whole "surprise-we-might-be-moving-to-Toledo!" drama.

But God was at work through all that. On my last day of school before we moved, many people shared stories of how I touched their lives. The story that touched me the most was an email that one girl sent me. She told me how much my openness about my faith encouraged her to be open about her faith. She told me that I encouraged her to have a stronger faith in Jesus.

Of course, I believe it wasn't just me who encouraged her. I believe God used me to encourage her. But this story really struck me because I probably spoke to this girl five times, at most. And our conversations were never at great length, but consisted of a "hey" in the hallways. This stuck me so much though because so many times this year, I have cried out to God in desperation. I have begged Him to show me the purpose of what I was going through. So, although I thought that I was pointlessly at school, "suffering," I was not at all. People were touching me, I was touching them, and God was strengthening my own faith and trust in Him.

Number Three: I am not in control. God is, and His plans are so much greater than mine. God so knows what He is doing. My mom told me once this year that God never allows us to go through anything that we can't handle. I truly believe this. I believe that everything we go through, we go through for a reason. Whether it is a bad year at school, a broken friendship, a death, or a rejection by a publisher, there is a reason. We are growing stronger and learning so much about ourselves.

So what is the sum of my ramblings? I know this isn't really a religious-y blog, if you will, but I really want to share this with you, dear readers. I don't write these things to make you feel bad for me or to pat myself on the back. I simply hope that perhaps my "ramblings" will touch you, with whatever you are going through in life.

Remember: life is unexpected and one usually doesn't know what will happen next, more is usually going on with life than meets the eye, we are not in control. May God bless you, my wonderful blog readers. You all mean more to me than you will ever know. Thank you for giving me the chance to express myself to you=)


  1. I love your writing :). It breaks my heart hearing how difficult this past school year was for you...I had no idea :-/ ...high school is rough. And at times it seems like it is NEVER going to end...but eventually, it does. And it gets better.

    I am glad to hear that although you were given a challenge, you were able to look back and see the why and how--why God presented you with a challenging year, and how that challenge effected/changed you and those around you.

    You are a remarkable person, Anne Marie :). God has great plans for you =). Miss you so much...and WE WILL be visiting you when all is settled :).

    1. Thanks, Jen=) You are such a HUGE inspiration to me! Haha, and you guys had BETTER visit!! I miss you all already<3

  2. Why you gotta make me cry? Why? ;) Thanks for sharing. Very insightful and so true. You are so right ... we very rarely see the whole picture as God does, but we need to trust that wherever He leads us, 1) there is a reason He takes us on the path He does, and 2) there is always something to be learned along the way. Love you so much Annie. Keep bloggin'. <3 > + < ;)

    1. KITTY!!!!!! Haha, dear Mrs. K, thank you for your insights-- so true. Love you too and thank you so much for the encouragement<3