Do y'all ever have those days when it's like you against the world? It's a lot less glamorous than standing in front of a giant globe, hands on hips, cape blowing in the wind, sparkly combat boots glinting in the sun. In Marvel movies, the slim odds are exciting, invigorating, and even encouraging, but in my own life, they are crushing.
Yet I continue to drag myself through the battle field, hands covering my face and slamming into everything. My heart feels like a rag doll lately, tossed continually about by a child far too enamored by an imaginary world. I feel sabotaged by attacks, both surprise and not.
And I do not change my tactics.
Thank the Lord I was not in charge of military strategy during World War II or any big wars because, folks, there would no longer be any great US of A to call home.
I came across this verse the other day: The Lord will fight for you; you need only be still. (Ex 14:14)
Be still. That sounds nice. But there's just too much to do. And that's a lot of control there that I'd be relinquishing, a lot of trust requiring...I don't know. How refreshing does that sound though? In a world where we're continually thrashing about, both by our own accord and others', be still.
So I don't need to fight? How exactly does one just...be still?
I feel like a repetitive point in my writing (due, no doubt, to the fact that it's a repetitive point in my life) is not only is God in control, but we are not. Whether or not we realize it. We're simply not designed to be in control.
I brought this verse to prayer, asking Jesus to fill me with awareness that He is fighting for me, and asking Him to still me.
His response? Ephesians 6:12-19.
For our struggle is not with flesh and blood but with principalities, with the powers, with the world rulers of this present darkness, with the evil spirits in the heavens. Therefore, put on the armor of God, that you may be able to resist on the evil day and, having done everything, to hold your ground. So stand fast with your loins girded in truth, clothed with righteousness as a breastplate, and your feet shod in readiness for the gospel of peace. In all circumstances, hold faith as a shield to quench all [the] flaming arrows of the evil one. And take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.
And that is all the fighting I can do. I need to realize that I am not struggling against anyone or anything besides Satan.
Clothing myself in truth; realizing, despite what is being pushed at me, that I am a daughter of God, I am a bride of Christ, I am made in the Image and Likeness of the Creator of the Universe. Consequently, I need to realize that this is the truth and destiny of all; children of the King.
I need to cling to virtue, not vice, that I maybe righteous; embracing the gifts of the Holy Spirit (wisdom, understanding, counsel, knowledge, fortitude, piety, and fear of the Lord) in the face of the attacks of Satan. I must be eager to spread the Gospel and to let it be powerful, to let it change my life and the lives of those around me; I cannot be afraid of the peace that it brings.
Despite how things look around me, I want faith to influence my every move. I want to be filled with the knowledge that God is working. I want to believe with every part of my heart, mind, and soul that God knows what He's doing and He is doing...for my good and for His glory.
Jesus Christ died for my salvation....I am washed in His blood. The lies of Satan are meaningless against His sacrifice. How I need to remember this! And I need to be drenched in the beauty of Sacred Scripture...allowing it to come alive and penetrate my heart and my life.
Friends, God wants to give us these things...they're not things we have to convince, connive, and beg for. All that we need to do is surrender, give up our lives, and be still.
These are all truths that take self denial to accept. That is found in prayer. I challenge you to pray every day, for at least thirty minutes...let God fight for you. Let Him be God. How refreshing, how relieving that we don't need to be in control, that we don't need to be God! Let Him be Father and let Him hold you. You need only be still.
I'm praying for you.
My desire to change everyone around me just about wore me out and was paying a heavy toll on my health. A friend said to me, "Silly girl. Only you would think you could do God's job." That comment changed my life. I do what I can. I try to live a life I hope God is pleased with, but I leave the changing people to God. I have a much more peaceful heart now.
ReplyDeleteThat is so beautiful, thank you for sharing. A wise old nun once told me how one of her sisters asked her: "Who made you the vice president of creation?!"
DeleteGiving up my illusion that I have any control to God, is one of the hardest things.
ReplyDeleteRight? Life long battle. But what He calls us to, He provides the grace sufficient for. Praying for you!
DeleteI really do feel like the world is against me right now, so maybe relaxing and knowing that everything will work out the way it's supposed to is a good thing to do...
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The Life of Little Me
Cling to Jesus! He's in control and he's madly in love with you =) I'm praying for you!
DeleteAh, you write so well. My heart echoes everything you said. I want faith to influence my every move. I want to be filled with the knowledge that God is working. I want to believe with every part of my heart, mind, and soul that God knows what He's doing and He is doing...for my good and for His glory. Amen. I want that too, just that total trust.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the challenge to pray as well. I needed that. Do have any tips on increasing your prayer life?
Thanks for your prayers too. It's so amazing to think that someone I don't even know, who lives on the other side of the planet, is praying for me. May God richly bless you! xx
Thank you, Jessica! It's so encouraging to know that the Holy Spirit is using my words to touch people =) And that other people feel the same way!
DeleteAs far as prayer goes: it's something that I put off for years (having a regular prayer schedule) and now that I pray every day, I wonder why I struggled so much against it, because it is honestly the best part of my day. Again and again I've heard the whole "like any relationship, you have to spend time to grow closer", but it's really true and it's amazing how that reality has come alive in my life. So that would be tip number one: schedule a time (or a bunch of times, at least a week ahead!) and stick to it! It's not going to be easy and Satan is going to do everything in his power to keep you from your Jessica/Jesus time...but, thankfully, Jesus has more power, so cling to that and push through whatever is telling you that you don't need to pray, don't have time, etc.
And then, just persevere! There are so many days when prayer isn't exciting (on the surface) and I'm fatigued...but those are the days when it is more important and it matters the most.
When I pray, I usually have some sort of music on (Bethel, Jesus Culture...even older stuff sometimes like Rich Mullins, Chris Rice) of a worshipful nature. It varies, but I always at least just have time to sit with Jesus and ask the Holy Spirit to fill me. We are never closer to God and further away from Satan than when we worship Jesus. I always make worship a priority. After that, I read the Bible; I try not to read more than a chapter (even that's a lot for me) at a time, and I write my thoughts in a journal and just ponder the verses in my heart. I also have some devotionals and stuff I use, but depends on my mood.
Lastly: always spend time in silence. Without music or books or anything...God can speak through those things, but some of the most powerful times in my life when I have felt God the closest and have heard Him the clearest have been in silence.
Jessica, it is so beautiful and inspiring to me to see other people with a desire for a deeper relationship with Christ! We're on this journey together, sister in Christ, and if you ever need prayers or anything, please don't hesitate to let me know!! In Him.
Anne Marie! Thanks you so much for your thoughtful, encouraging reply, and for sharing your prayer routine. You've just inspired me even more, and made me determined to make prayer time a priority every day. It is encouraging to me as well to see others wanting to go deeper and know God, and I feel really blessed by your reply. Thanks again. xxx
DeleteJessica, you're amazing. Thanks for your constant encouragement =)
DeleteFirst, I gotta say your blog is beautiful! I love everything about it. Second, this post was the reminder I needed today. Thanks :)
ReplyDeleteAw, thanks, Abi! You're so sweet.
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