Wednesday, August 12, 2015

Back Again....

So here I am...back again. Pleased?

I have had an incredibly interesting summer. Not good or bad...but interesting, chalk full of good moments as well as bad ones, but neither overpowering the other so much as to give the entire summer a label of "best" or "worst". We're just going to have to settle with interesting.

If you've been a regular reader of AM Station, you know that I had major writing aspirations for the summer. I would like to take a moment to say that all of none of them were accomplished. As you know, I've neglected my blog (even going so far as to consider never blogging again...I know, the HORROR). I haven't worked on a single WIP and I certainly haven't even opened AWAKEN to continue edits. I haven't scribbled a single poem and have scarcely made time to journal.

So many reasons, so many excuses, so many thoughts...where do I even begin?

CYSC (the camp I attended in June) really threw a curve-ball at my life as far as my schedule was concerned. It was an amazing experience and I'm still pondering how it has impacted me. However, taking a whole week break from writing when I'd written nearly every day for this past year was really rough. And then coming home to spending two weeks with my cousins (another amazing thing of this summer) also messed with my goals for the summer.

Add to all that my job, getting ready for a huge festival my dad's nonprofit put on this past weekend, as well as typical summer, family, every day life sorts of things...even when I did have the time to write, it was hard to find the energy.

Shout out to all your writer mamas out there. I don't know how you do it.

Anyway...even deeper than that, however, was the nagging feeling that I'm going to have to take a whole year off of writing. At least, not in the way I've been used to. I'm going to be applying for NET Ministries for the school year of 2016-2017 and basically what NET (National Evangelization Team) is is teams of young adults who go around the country and give retreats to middle and high schoolers. I'm really excited and feel like this is where God is leading me...but nonetheless somewhat fearful of all that I'll have to let go of to fully dive into the year. I'm not exactly going to have the time and energy for the next great American novel, unfortunately.

Knowing that I'm going to have to take that break is really killing me. I'm just so confused as to why God has given me the talent of writing when He keeps asking me to give it up in different ways. But yet I know that He doesn't want me to stop writing...I just need to figure out what He wants me to do with my writing.

So, friends, here we are at the end of another long, reflective, perhaps too-deep blog post. I do want to apologize to all to whom I promised interviews and blog tours and such. Another reason why I slipped away from the blogging world is I definitely over-committed. Anyway, I've missed you all desperately and hope that you're all doing well. I'm trying to figure out a healthy balance between my blogging/blog visiting/writing WIPS/etc. as summer starts to end and I look to beginning my senior year. I really feel like I'm in great need of some writer support as I "get back in the game".

Also...I just realized that tomorrow officially marks three years since I created this blog. Wow. Insane how fast time flies. So much has happened!

Looking forward to hearing from you all about what you've been up to and hopefully "visiting" some of you soon! Thanks for reading, as always, and sticking with me.

15 comments:

  1. You're alive! :) I totally understand being super busy lol I'm kinda going through that right now. NET sounds awesome!

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  2. Dear Anne Marie,

    Welcome back… you have been missed.

    What an incredible, heartwarming post - full of energy, and a little angst as well.

    Here are my thoughts about your many questions...

    What makes you think God wants you to stop writing? I imagine God is hopeful you will use your writing to help spread a different kind of word. Have you thought of that?

    What about this upcoming NET adventure? A year long adventure that will see you meeting many young adults that may in turn inspire and motivate your writing.

    In your case, I think your writing is central to your desire to be part of NET. You will make time for it, that is what God is wanting you to see as your commitment, to your participation in NET. You will write about the impact your beliefs have on how you live your life, and how that impact trickles down to further influence those you will in close contact with during 2016-2017.

    Further, there is no such thing as “the next great American novel” only the next great adventure… which is often written by amazing people as they live it, only then does it BECOME that great novel you aspire to write.

    Do not put the cart before the horse. Live the adventure, keep notes of it, and when the time comes for you to sit back and reflect upon it writing that great novel will come easily from within.

    I know I’m being a tad forward in what I am suggesting. It is not for me to tell you how or when to write. I just know from experience, and I have a few decades under my belt, that all great works of literature is based on truth, good or bad, it all come from a place of truth.

    In order for the words to reflect the truth those same words must be from experience; wisdom, pain, suffering, also joy and happiness. They must be lived first, in some capacity, before a reader can believe them.

    It’s like building a house. First comes the plan, but the house will never be built without the materials, and the labour of love. Only when the house is finished can the builder truly see it, and share it.

    Maybe God is showing you where the material is, you need to set a plan in motion, then keep a journal. When you are done, the book will have been written.

    As to not blogging - you owe no one an apology. A blog is a personal hangout, where we share a little of our worlds. We are not obligated to do that, as you see with how sporadic I am with my blogging.

    Even over at Write Brain Challenge, I no longer post my stories as I am busy formulating them into a book. That is my priority. That is my goal. The blogging is only secondary. It will always be so.

    I want to close this long comment by telling you how amazing I think you are. Your parents must be so proud of you, and see how much joy and happiness you bring to all you meet. I know I am one of those lucky people.

    With much love and joy, Jenny

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    1. Jenny, once again, you've made my day. Thank you so much for taking the time to construct this very thoughtful comment...I cannot tell you how much it means to me!

      I suppose I should have clarified a little more (as I often should do when I write posts late at night)-- part of the NET year is limited technology, so I won't exactly be able to type out a novel. But you have made some excellent points...and I think God is definitely speaking to me through you! Wow. I'm just so deeply moved and humbled by all of the points that you have presented...thank you so, so much.

      Brought to tears by all of the love and support that you continually shower upon me.

      You are such a blessing to me! Thank you, dear Jenny.

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    2. Yes, I do read replies to comments, but often several days later. It was sweet of you to send me a note directly.

      Your comment set me smiling and thinking of my own blessings in life. We all have much to give thanks for. Hugs, Jenny xo

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  3. Yay, I'm so glad you're back! Sometimes (mainly in the heap of the school year) I feel like I can't balance everything either, but I will hope and pray that everything goes well for you. :)

    xoxo Morning

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    1. Aww, Morning, you're a doll. Thanks for sticking around!

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  4. That sounds like an awesome summer!

    Don't feel too bad about not getting any writing done. Sometimes you need a break. And if life is what that you do during that break, then you're doing it right. Besides, when it comes to writing, all life is research, yes? ;)

    Juggling everything in life is really hard. It seems the older we get the more things we have to juggle. It helps a lot if we let God juggle them with us (and that is hard, hard, hard). He'll show you how to balance things. :)

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  5. Congrats on your 3 year anniversary. As a mum, the summer holidays mean a major disruption just because my kids are around a lot more and it's rude to ignore them! Glad you had an interesting summer - sometimes a good break is good for your writing.

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  6. Glad you had a very fulfilling summer. And it sounds like you've got some amazing things in the horizon. Busy busy! I was pretty much MIA this summer too, but I came back in time to celebrate my blog's ten year blogiversary.

    Hope you're doing well.

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  7. I have been going through the same thing this summer. I have been seriously questioning whether i should keep my blog or not. I will be praying for you!

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    1. I'll be praying for you as well, Megan! Thanks for commenting.

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